“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” was a quote that we had on a the back of our high school basketball hoodies during the year we went undefeated and won the 4A Kansas State Basketball title. The destination was what every athlete dreams of - holding that trophy at the end of a long season, knowing all your hard work brought you to the end goal, the destination.

But then the season ended and the next one began. We graduated 5 talented seniors and basically had a whole new team. But the destination didn’t change. We had a target on our backs to repeat and made it all the way to the championship game with an undefeated season again, until we fell just short of the goal of winning. Looking back on those years I learned a lot about the process that is needed to be excellent. The discipline, the commitment, and the teamwork, among many others, were an important piece of the puzzle to that success. The destination was sweet, but the journey taken to get there was even more empowering and worthwhile.

As a young athlete, I remember chasing my goal to play at the college level. That goal changed from year to year as I figured out what sport I wanted to pursue, what school I wanted to play at, and what type of program and coaching staff I wanted to play for. The overarching destination of playing in college evolved as I grew in my sport and as a person. The journey had it’s twists and turns, and with that, my actions and mindset evolved.

It was a destination I was able to achieve for myself and once I made it to the college level, I continued to chase new desired destinations. Goals to be an all-conference player, to play at the NCAA tournament, and to be in the top 5 of our conference charts for hitting % and blocks per set. But none of those goals came to fruition for me.

Of course it was a bummer, but when I look back at those years, the things that i’m most proud of come from the pursuit of chasing these goals, the journey that I took on the way to those desired destinations. The journey was worth it when the destination was reached, but it was also worth it when the destination or goal wasn’t achieved in the end.

Those college years was were I relied heavily on my mental game. And at the end of my career, I reflected on the moments of adversity and being proud of how I handled them internally and externally with my teammates. I evolved as a leader on my team by being vulnerable and putting my pride aside to serve my teammates. And by the end of my college career, I was wholeheartedly pursuing the best ME on the way to those desired destinations. Even when I didn’t reach them, I could still look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the journey and how I handled it.

Before I work with any athlete, I speak with their parents first. Most of the time, the parents know what their athlete wants and what their long-term goals are. Majority of the time, for the athletes that I work with, that long-term goal is getting to play the sport they love at the college level. But that’s not something I can guarantee they will reach by working with me.

I can’t guarantee that their athlete will win their high school state title, or that they will receive accolades as an individual player. I can’t guarantee that they will get an offer to play at the college level. I can’t guarantee any of their desired goals and destinations will be a reality for them - and no one can.

But what I can guarantee is that their athlete, if they do the work, will be able to enjoy and take the journey head on with confidence, growth and resilience. And if they reach that desired destination, well that’s just the cherry on top. But if they don’t, they’ll still be able to and feel accomplished and proud of themselves no matter what the outcome is.

Of course we’ll work as hard as we can on getting them to that destination by working on their powerful mindset. We’ll work on visualizing, getting their thoughts and inner voice aligned with what they want, and moving past mental barriers that are holding them back. We’ll talk about tapping into their inner beast on the playing field and how reflection can help move them forward. And we’ll discuss what success looks like outside of the outcomes for them because that is where their focus needs to be during times of adversity.

It’s the pursuit of the destination - the journey taken along the way - that truly molds athletes into incredible and resilient people. And THAT is my overall goal for my athletes. We’re going to work like crazy to get them to their desired destination. And we’re also going to work really hard on building more confidence and belief in themselves than you’ve ever seen.

And you, as their parent, get to see that growth and that confidence flourish, knowing that no matter where their journey takes them, your athlete is prepared for it. For this one and all the journey’s they’ll face ahead of them.