The thief of joy
/I got married! It had been a long two years of planning, but the day that my husband and I got to profess our love for one another in front of our families and closest friends was well worth the wait.
I don’t regret all the time that I spent planning out our favorite day one bit, but it did mean that I couldn’t get it ALL done. I wasn’t able to focus on my business the way that I had hoped to and sometimes that made me angry and stressed - but boy do I feel blessed to have the problems that I do!
Now that I’m back in business mode, planning for team workshops, booking clients, and writing out my goals for the next 6 months, I can’t help but feel a little bit behind. I have a wonderful group of colleagues who I am in a group coaching program with (yes, I have my own mindset coach)! They all have been killing it in their businesses and it makes me so happy for them. However, I’ve also found myself playing the comparison game. Which I know from experience as an athlete is never a helpful place to be in.
Comparison is a double-edged sword. It creates anger towards yourself and towards someone else - instead of celebrating them. Comparison is the thief of joy; for yourself and others.
One of my mental pain points while competing as an athlete was comparison. I would beat myself up for not being “as good” as someone else on my team or across the net from me. I would try to do everything to emulate this person that was better than me instead of trusting my own, unique capabilities. Comparison created in me a fear that I would never be good enough and would ultimately lead me to not believing and trusting in myself.
The comparison of my teammate also caused tension within my team. And as we all know in team sports, that’s the worst thing that could happen. Not only was I hurting myself at this point, but I was also hurting my team and not leading like I knew that I could.
Then I learned about mental training. The tools I learned taught me how to acknowledge this comparison voice but then silence it with action. Now when I notice that i'm comparing myself to others, I take action both mentally and physically as soon as possible. The comparison voice doesn’t just disappear. I know that I must do the work internally to silence it.
Some of the most successful ways I have found for myself to be able to get past comparison is by:
Reminding myself to be where my feet are and trust that God has a plan for me. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” Psalm 32:8 (NIV)”.
Reminding myself of past successes. When I do this, I build my confidence by reminding myself that I can do hard and wonderful things with a little perseverance.
Then, I take action. I use tools that I’ve learned over the years to plan and act on the steps needed to get towards my next goal.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to completely rid this voice of comparison - and that’s okay! Because what I do know is that I have worked on building the awareness of this feeling, and I have the tools to help me get past it so that I can be the best version of myself.
That’s what mental training is all about. It doesn’t eliminate these mental pain points, but it teaches you the tools to be able to acknowledge and act. To be able to silence self-sabotaging thoughts, like comparison, that get in the way of reaching goals and dreams.
What’s the mental pain point that is becoming the thief of your joy?
